I’ve been doing a lot of trauma work as of late and with it’s come a torrent of emotions I had previously repressed. I had to dig deep into my psyche and unearth a lot of pain and self-hate to find who was waiting at the bottom. I’m still in the process of learning how to truly accept all the positive qualities about myself, but at this stage of my journey, I’m comfortable in saying that I’m loving, inquisitive, and passionate.
As my self esteem grows, I find a deep inner peace I’ve never quite had before. I’m beginning to connect with my own feelings, my sexuality, and the people around me in a profound way. I’ve learnt I absolutely adore kids. I’ve also learnt what it feels like to have a crush — it fucking sucks by the way, in the best way possible.
I wish everyone reading this peace and joy in their lives.
Tbh money would solve all of my problems right now like I could move out and pay for school and take care of my mental health and overall I would just be happy and in a better place so I get really annoyed when people are like “money can’t make you happy” uh you obviously never experienced financial instability and dependence.
This is pretty much my current predicament in a nutshell.
How do you learn to love yourself? How do you “realize” that in your deepest of hearts you are worthy? I’ve been trying for years and after every new strategy or life-changing decision I always reach the same conclusion: I’m not. I could give you a list of reasons why I’m right to think that and I could give you a list of reasons why I’m stupid and wrong to think that. My reasoning tells me that the second list is me trying to lie to myself. How do you love the skin you’re in? How do you love your personality? How do you, coketalk, do it?
Stop all this “trying to learn to realize” bullshit. You’re tripping all over yourself with lists and strategy and reasoning. This isn’t a process for your ego or your rational mind. You’re not going to think your way into loving yourself.
Sorry to get all Yoda up in this bitch, but love or love not. There is no try.
The simple truth is that you are worthy of love. That goes for every last motherfucker on the planet. Whether you realize it or not is purely a matter of getting out of your own way.
Seriously, don’t you get how amazing it is to be alive? One day you won’t be. In the meantime, the skin you’re in will wither and age, your personality will ebb and flow, and everything around you will be in a constant state of flux. Ultimately, none of it really matters, except for those moments of joy you carve out for yourself, and you can only experience joy when you forget all the bullshit and remember that you really do love yourself after all.
This isn’t about self-confidence. It’s not even about self-acceptance really. That’s the fucking irony here. Loving yourself isn’t about the “self.” It’s a difficult concept to communicate. I’ve hinted at it before, but once you’ve had the experience of truly letting go of your ego, you’ll understand what I mean. There’s a freedom that comes in accepting in its totality both the extraordinary nature and fleeting insignificance of the human condition. For some reason, afterward, it’s really fucking easy to love yourself.
Don’t worry, I’m not gonna start singing Kumbaya or some shit. You wanted to know how I did it, and that’s pretty much it. I guess all I’m trying to say is, it’s not that you ever really learn to love yourself. In the end, if you’re lucky, you just forget not to.
OMG THIS IS SUCH AN INTERESTING QUESTION.
You know, thinking about your future is important, but what’s even more important is keeping your mind open. I’m studying medicine because I want to become doctor, but I don’t think that’s my only possibility. Studying medicine is a great experience, you learn a lot of things (and not just about medicine) and you can choose lots of different medical professions who don’t imply working with a patient directly (like, in a more personal and face to face way).
What I mean is that, if you really think that your temperament is too horrendous to work as a doctor (which I’m sure is not that bad, you should know me in real life, I’m a bit bossy and I have a really bad temper sometimes) but you feel compelled to study medicine because you think you’d find it interesting, then study medicine. You could end up as a university professor, a surgeon (which don’t treat patients as personally and directly as physicians do), you could end up investigating, you could end up doing so many things!!
Besides, you don’t know how you’ll be with patients! I know lots of doctors, and let me tell you, there are not two doctor with the same personality. There are harsh doctors, sweet doctors, introverted doctors, impatient doctors, indulging doctors, mean doctors… And they all treat their patients! What I mean with this is that you don’t need to be a prince of shining armor to be a doctor, you need to be knowledgeable and a good listener. You learn this things with time and practice. When we first see a patient, we’re terrified, but with time comes the confidence that knowledge and experience provide. You learn to be sweet and patient when you need to be sweet and patient, and you learn to be harsh and strict when you need to be harsh and strict with your patient.
Sometime you hear that medical students always become doctors because they want to treat patients and blah blah blah… While those desires are in lots of us, there are also students who are doing medicine because they want to end up in a lab doing research to create a vaccine or to find a cure for cancer or to treat Alzheimer… Or because they want to become surgeons! They have to open up their patients and put everything in order, but the face to face part is made by the physician, or you could be a sports doctor! You would treat healthy people (athletes, footballers, swimmers…). I don0t know man, the possibilities are infinite. I also know a cardiologist who studied medicine but when he was working at the hospital, he found out he like communications better and now he’s a journalist and health communicator!
I would recommend you to ponder your options really well. It’s true that because of our personalities or our abilities we’re prone to choose one career or another, but if you feel like you would like to study medicine, maybe you should give it a try. If you realize then that you don’t really like it, you can always go back! You’re not going to disappoint anyone. This are your choices and your future we’re talking about.
If you can, talk to people in the medical field to get a more complete vision of all the things you can do by studying medicine that don’t necessarily imply working with patients or whatever other thing you think you can’t do because of your temperament (and I insist, you shouldn’t think your personality wouldn’t allow you to become a good doctor) and always keep your mind open. The decisions you make now won’t take you away from the right path, they’re just a way of showing you the way to the place where you belong. You’ll find your place in the end, believe me. It may seem like NOW is the only time to make a definite decision, but you’ll realize with time that it never is too late to go back when we’re talking about the thing you want to do in life. There’s always a new chance!
I want lgbt book stores, lgbt coffee houses, and lgbt theaters to replace lgbt bars as centers of community, places to meet people, and lgbt rights of passage.
YES. i am so fucking TIRED of every queer event being at a bar or another 21+ venue, especially when alcoholism is a thing for so many, esp. queer youth, and community isolation is such a major factor in so many suicides.
I had a thought about fic yesterday. Like, what if triads were normal, and everyone considered couples “incomplete”? What would a romance story in that world look like? What would society look like? Would single people be extra looked-down-upon, or highly coveted by couples wanting to complete their triad?
Would homophobia exist? I can’t imagine bisexual erasure would ever be a thing, but might there be something similar for monosexual people? “Oh, you just haven’t found the right man/woman/etc. yet!” Would non-gendernormative people have more acceptance? Would man/woman/third be the ultimate triad? Would people be encouraged away from their male/female gender identity in order to “make a better match”?
Would people feel sorry for couples? “How do you decide on anything without a tie-breaking vote?” “Don’t you feel sad, never getting to sleep in the middle?” “How do you get anything done around the house with only two pairs of hands?” “Aren’t your children at a disadvantage without three parents at home?” “How can you possibly have enough income on only two paychecks? I mean, I remember when my first wife and I had to live in my mom and dad and pop’s basement before we met our second wife. She’s the real breadwinner.”
Interesting things to think about. And write about maybe. Teen Wolf really has a lot of potential as a triad society. I mean, Scott and Stiles could be so close because they’re half-brothers (only they’d just say brothers) and grew up in the same house.
This is such an awesome idea, and yet my bitter feminist brain just comes up with all the new ways patriarchy would find to suck in this world.
I think for it to be really fun, you’d have to make most people bisexual and remove some of the stigma about that. If you keep people more or less where they are along the gender and attraction axes (though I think there’s a social component to how people identify, and more people will probably call themselves bi who might have said gay or straight in our world)…
- Bisexual women are suddenly very popular. The privileged relationship structure is one man, two bi women.
- Bisexual men in MMF triads are still taking lots of shit from all directions.
- Especially from straight men in MFM “triads” that are really more vee’s. (They may not be alpha males but at least they’re not fucking fags.) (The bi guys respond that at least they’re in a real triad.)
- The women in those relationships are greedy sluts.
- Which makes it okay for two buddies to get together and share a slut. But it’s just for fun, man. We want to find two girls each and settle down.
- Feminists are getting kind of tired of arguing about whether women in one man - two straight women relationships are happiest that way or just conditioned to think they should be.
- Gay triads carry on pretty much as they have.
- Gay couples, though, especially women, have a very hard time being out, considering the number of guys who want to “complete them”. With their dicks. Gay men experience some of the same thing, but with fewer rape threats. (Can you say fangirl? Fag hag? How about misogyny?)
- There are plenty of couples out there looking for their third. Mostly these are MF and looking for a bi girl. Lots of the time straight guys don’t want a male third, but may settle for it because they’re afraid of their girlfriend leaving them for a couple.
- Single people face the choice of looking for a couple or another single person. The other single people want couples, though, so it’s kind of hard to get into a couple in the first place. Some people will try to solve this by starting triads from scratch with group dates. (Or maybe coupling up at all is considered a bad idea, because people think it will make it harder to make a real triad later?)
So many ideas, this might end up being a story =)